Hereditary (2018) USA Dir: Ari Aster
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Brief: 500-800 word blog entry/article on how managers and business owners can motivate their staff. Be creative as you want! 😉
June 4th 2018
Scenes from a Workplace Episode 1 -Motivation/Demotivation
A modern office space, godless and spartan.
Guy Sure, where has Aoife gotten to?’ Is she on vacation? Kevin She left 6 months ago boss man! Guy Oh right. And Simon, I haven’t seen him at the office or in the coffee-room at all recently. Kevin Yeah, he resigned a month ago. He got a better offer from another company, fair play! Eh, shouldn’t you be aware of these changes in this work environment which you oversee nay manage? Guy Quite right Gareth. But having a lot of stress on the home front, bills, termite infestation. Kevin You’ve got termites? Guy Yeah busloads. They were planted there by my ex-wife after the divorce. Diet plan investments not going well at all christ! Little children complaining 24/7. My parrot is dying – AIDS related – this hairline, my self-respect eroding like the Serengeti in a heat wave. Kevin Um.It’s Kevin. Guy Yes. It certainly is Gareth. Kevin Right. So, I’m finishing today. Guy Ah, sorry to see you go then. A real pity. Why? Kevin Why what? Oh why am i leaving? Hmm. i don’t know. I am not quite sure. Do you know this is the first time in two years you’ve acknowledged my existence? Oh, you took credit for my food sharing i worked for six months on. No pay rise despite having worked shitloads of overtime practically week in week out. I’ve yet to take a holiday and oh yes, was run over by a Lidl delivery truck outside the office last year and spent one month in agony and despair hospital staring at my crushed right leg. No sick pay because I was told that this company regarded accidents as non illness related but rather as ‘force majeure’ which doesn’t factor into the company’s insurance policy. My wife had to resort to clowning. Never again! Guy Really? Maybe that is a bit uncool no? I will review our policies. So Chris…’ Kevin Kevin! Guy Would you say that you were somewhat dissatisfied with your current work situation thus leading you to make a decision to leave for greener pastures if you will? Kevin If i said i was satisfied, that would make a liar in God’s eyes so my satisfaction levels out of 10, I would say overall they were a 3. Guy 3? Oh, that’s quite low isn’t it Garth? That won’t do at all. The investors said they need an average of 6. Could you go up to 5 maybe 6 if we helped you on your way so to speak? Kevin Listen. Seeing as it’s my last day thus the consequences of my actions from this point forward would be viewed as redundant. Do you want some advice? Guy Yes. Fire away Barry! So to speak. I’m all ears. Kevin You might want to read up on Frederick Herzberg’s motivation-hygiene theory, also known as the dual factor theory. Herzberg argues that certain factors – motivators ( e.g., responsibility, challenging meaningful work, recognition in the workplace cause positive satisfaction whilst a completely different set of factors – hygiene factors (e.g., salary, workplace conditions, benefits, holidays) – cause dissatisfaction. Guy I see. Fascinating stuff. Kevin ‘Thus, the existence of the former gives fiercely positive satisfaction and the absence of the latter do not in and of themselves give workers satisfaction but their absence creates major vibes of dissatisfaction. Anyway, i could babble on for hours ya twat but I have to clear my workstation and head out for a pint with me new boss who seems dead sound…byeeee!’ Guy Good luck Devin! Oh, dear Guy. This is another badly handled managerial mess you’ve gotten yourself into!’ Cue laughter from audience. Does this situation feel familiar? Perhaps too familiar? If you are like us, you want to greet each morning with a smile and a hug, looking forward to entering your place work with a sense of divine purpose and giddiness of a child then you will want avoid this outcome at any cost. According to Margaret Jacoby, president and founder of MJ management Solutions, a leading HR consulting firm ‘happy workers are productive workers’. She offers 5 simple ways for business owners to keep your staff happy: Communicate better Be an Example Empower them Offer opportunities for advancement Provide Incentives Easy peasy right? But i know what you are thinking, what about ways to not de-motivate your workforce you big dumb dreamer? Well, we’ve got that covered too as management expert Victor Lipman writing for Forbes, outlines some key ways to motivate and demotivate your employees. Some of these doozies include ‘taking credit for a project your employee did most of the work on, losing your temper and being emotionally stingy or withholding praise. We’ve all been there. Those crazy bosses, am i right!? So head honchos, masters of your domains; read, listen and learn! Your staffs happiness is the golden key to success ya dig? Now get out there and motivate but in a respectful, non creepy way of course. Derek Mc Donnell
horseplay wha? am i rite??? perhaps….in the current climate of hyper political gender awareness and all dat, best keep me mouth shut with me views but i think it’s that an individual can still express his/her/its opinion on der favourite animal species and so forth and all of dat nonsense one can assume….ramblin a bit here friends…reel me in like a fresh virgin salmon on a sharp cold connaught morn da blisterin winds of me youth…wots he on about…oh about 5g of ketamine father …and 2 years of underwhelmin marriage arrangements under his apprentice butchers belt provides by dunnes and the chinese children workin away in a newly democratic old slap around the ear with a communist slogan and a plastic soldier kind of way…jaysus, bout time for fittin me tea in, best down this pint whilst listenin to dese tunes about the four legged lads and ladies of the fields; the ponies like…what do they like dancin to i wonder…best press play and find out through the wonders of modernly tech no logikery i might add somewhat! be round in a quarter! toodle ra!
The cure for anything is salt water — sweat, tears, or the sea
– isak dinesen
a mystery, a wonder, a reality…the sea is both our subconscious and our unconscious manifest onto which we project our dreams, thoughts, quandaries and explorations; myth science fairytales of wonder horror evolution and adventure are borne from the swirling, murky complex depths; the key to our salvation destruction and evolution contained within both stillness and movement and in each breathless current, crashing wave and crest of storm *
* pretentiously profound purple prose prick alert! take it with a large bag of salt and seaweed then fuck it back into the briny depths of discarded douchery from whence it came!