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The Call- I Don’t Wanna (1987)

It’s an interesting story actually. You see, I was watching this obscure film directed by Paul Schrader. You know, he wrote Taxi Driver and Raging Bull! Seriously, you watch movies and you don’t know who Paul Schrader is? Anyway…

Would he ever just shut the fuck up? Patronising prick! No one gives a shit about your ‘story’! Now, let me guess the punchline to this one…oh, I bet it’s a fascinating one. Let me see, you discovered that inside this piece of shit film you watched while jerking off were hidden clues to s secret location of lost Nazi gold! No? Christ! We don’t all watch as many films as you, you twat! we have lives, we work for a living. I’ve got two kids to look after and barely have time for spongebob reruns never mind pretentious fantasy wank by some fuckin deluded Hollywood hack. Another drink is needed sharpish. Is he still yappin? Just nod your head, clench your fist a bit tight now…

…and would you believe it, the same band wrote that song, the one in ‘Lost Boys’ that that sweaty half naked saxophone guy ‘performs’ in front of the crowd of teen rockers and vampires on the beach. Do you remember that scene? Cringeworthy. Typical of Schumacher’s camp stylization of youth culture.

I remember the Lost Boys alright, always fancied yer wan in it…but camp-dee-fucking-diddly-ofthewhatthefuckisthistwatonaboutnow? That’s it, I have to say something…’Sorry man, I was zonin out there…what has all this to do with the price of bread?’ He has a think on it now,pondering the fuck out of his gibberish.

You know what? You’re right! Fuck it! I’ve lost the thread of what I was saying…shit, this has never happened before.

He is looking anxious now. Try to calm him the fuck down. We are here to have a good time, a few laughs, not fret about the details surrounding an obscure Paul Schrader movie melodrama entitled ‘Forever Mine’ from 1999 starring Ray Liotta and Joseph feckin Fiennes that never saw the light of day in cinemas and inadvertently, through it’s admittedly not bad soundtrack led him to seek out music by a cult Californian rock group from the 80’s called, would you believe it ‘The Call’, the lead singer of which, the late Michael Been turns out to be a father of a member of Black Rebel Motorcycle Club and the bands 1987 song ‘I Still Believe’ would be re-recorded by multi-instrumentalist, saxophone adonis Tim Capello for Joel Schumachers 1987 teen vampire film ‘The Lost Boys’. It’s going to be okay man. I will have a listen to this song when I get home. I promise. Yeah, he can be a bit of a knobhead but I don’t want him offing himself over such pop culture minutiae. And you know what? I can be a right wanker about the rugby matches, you know? We can all be wankers about the rugby I reckon.  yeah, we are all Yeah, that’s the lesson learned here today; we are all rugby wankers at some stage in life. free wisdom there.

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