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1) Sonic Youth – Shadow of a Doubt (1986)

2) Elbow – Not a Job (2003)

3) The Replacements – Unsatisfied (1984)


4) Oasis – Rockin Chair (1994)

5) Manic Street Preachers – I’m Not Working (1998)

Dear reader, what do you think? What is my state of mind here?

First Prize! And Only Prize for the correct guess! – I will personally cook you a slap up gourmet beef burger and home cut chips in your own home free of charge, I might even throw in a a bottle of cheap beer to wash it down with.

In addition, I will wash up afterwards and listen intently, responsively and considerately to anything you have to say whilst round your way.

Extra entertainment can be provided but please note after the first hour covering the preparation and cooking of said burger and chips, I charge 20 Euro per hour for additional services including singing, usually 70’s and 80’s pop hits but in a parody style (wigs, fake teeth and props I will provide) and security services which means sleeping over.

ha! ha! But Don’t worry, there will be no funny business, I’m a professional for fucks sake! I will provide my own sleeping bag and can sleep on sofa or floor though I may fall asleep at some point leaving you prey to intruders.

Note that I still expect to be paid so it should be paid cash up front regardless of whether you wake up in the morning safe & sound or traumatized/attacked/bludgeoned to death with a giant coffee mug.

Also, this competition is open to any readers outisde of Ireland and the UK though you will have to provide the cost of travel. Normal terms and conditions apply. Your guess at my state of mind must be at least 75% correct (Hint: the answer is in the title. Dont tell anyone i told you) to be considered for the prize and become a finalist. Five finalists will be picked.

The winner will be informed by a handwritten note delivered by a squirrel in a toy helicopter.

Good luck! Now bog off and  post your answers in the comments box below the post for consideration or email me at derekisafugazi@geemale.net or 

Don’t ignore this post and miss out on this once in a lifetime bonanza prize offering!