Roberta Flack- The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face
U2 – The First Time
Expanding the cultural parameters of this blog series – in his own mind at least – Le Homme De Leisure recalled with pained resignation that first, exciting rush of ‘being in love’. Of course, the naïvety of a 12-year-old pre-pubescent boy though it love when in fact it was just the awakening of his own basic, sexual biology; hormonal activity which had until then been unconsciously acted out through a rich fantasy life consistent of comic books, movies and toys.
So perhaps a ‘crush’ would be a more appropriate adjective for those stirrings he felt and projected onto a pretty blonde girl three years his senior. Shy and clueless, the object of his fascination would remain so as speaking confidently to people either male or female without the aid of ‘role-playing’ and youthful games was alien to him.
Thus, from afar she remained an aloof abstraction of romantic and hormonal yearning, a beautiful blonde goddess on a pedestal whom I would rescue or show of my manliness to in many, many invented scenarios of a fevered and delusional young mind.
Alas, several words were exchanged, none from his frightened, blushing crimson countenance and so the emotions lingered and then well… that’s another story; a long and circuitous one perhaps not uncommon to most and leading to this moment of melancholic refection. Suffice to say, the first time may indeed be the best time or even the worst time but there will never be another quite like it.
Maybe Le Homme De Leisure, half formed Man Of His Own World, now frighteningly aware of the limitations of his own body and mind, the lessening of time, the limits of human perception and existence is like most others, attempting to recapture that first, innocent high of a love untainted and undiminished by reality and compromise.
Such foolish thoughts.